BON VOYAGE...!!!!!!!

 

Ari always had a touring job, perhaps I felt this most while we were in our early marriage days for obvious reasons. It has been 6 years we are married now and I should be habitual of it by now....Can't say perfectly...!!!!!!

Indeed some distance and stay away always helps to break free the monotonous daily life and schedule, helps to rekindle the spark which might get lost due to routine. For us as well it is GREAT to see each other after spending few days alone & away. Can't resist his monkey HUG when he usually comes back in my arms after any tour...!!!!! Awww..!!!!

This time he has luckily bagged a golden opportunity and first time in his life he has gone to Germany – Frankfurt...What a big deal...then ask a person who has never been out of country even once. HE WAS ALSO EXCITED LIKE A KID.....shopped stuff, been to the saloon for a nice haircut, packed the bag and packed it again & again...hee..heeee...I was silently watching the STUPID side of his....which was very hilarious.

While he left on 18^th early morning to catch his flight...I hugged him tight & kissed him wild and said that – have a happy journey and do enjoy yourself...!!!!! I know he would start missing me in a day or so but even though I wanted him to stay excited and gay as he leaves.

He was going for Training of 2 weeks for some new medical equipment which his company has added in the product list. I remember the day when he successfully demonstrated the product to fetch an handsome order even without any training. When his boss asked him to go to Germany for the training he simply replied – No need sir, I have got an expertise without it. Still his Boss made him go.

Anyhow, it has been a day since he has gone and I am missing him like anything ...AS USUAL.....Received a call last night that he safely landed and would call me again...!!!!! Don't know how would be spending 2 weeks without him.....knowing he is traveling nowadays to Germany – Frankfurt...WITHOUT MEE....!!!!!!!  :- (

My Home...Sweet....Home

I have something special to say today...its been a week since we moved in to MY NEW HOME, have been busy like anything managing everything on my own but still ITS A COMPLETE DIFFERENT FEELING and I feel the words could hardly put across my expressions....HOME...not mere a word rather A PLACE.....many of us dream of....A place where from hustling restless life one feels relaxed, thoughts get created and mind gets charged up....a caring & cozy feeling that one feels...even if things surrounding are stationary but I feel sometimes the painting, the souvenir, even the wall and the windows talking to me saying – You are the one who has filled life across our non-living existence. This feeling itself sends many positive vibes through my soul and I feel very much confounded.

Today when I look back all these years, I realise how God has just keep blessing me silently....when I remembered him on all the situations in my life asking him why he forgot me....like always he has answered me today also with a blessing and greatest sense of achievement, I can't even thank him enough for thinking me worthy of this....not to forget my elders & well wishers who have been there with unending support and kindness.

I have started with a milestone today...and I aspire to build my own world and fill my sweet little home with all the WARMTH...LOVE AND CARING...my heart...my soul could give. Ari, me & my little darling we all would contribute evenly in this. ARI would add warmth, security & support. I would give in love, caring & emotions and my little Rudranil would add his amazing energy, fun and a home filled with his laughter...GOD..!!!! Please Bless us and Be with us today...tomorrow and forever.

Mamma’s Boy

I love your stubby fingers and your crooked little toes

I love your chubby cheeks and your little button nose

I love your big black eyes and your pretty auburn hair

I love your rosy lips and your dimpled smile

I know one day you’ll grow up to be wonderful

and forget to play with all these toys

Wondering how does Mamma knows?

Because you’re my darling... Mamma’s boy

Subsequent phase

By pooja on 8th July

Subsequent phase of my professional life Now on -

The word MAA now holds a novel & fresh meaning in my life….I was enjoying a pleasured motherhood with extra punch of keenness, fun and cherished memories build each & every minute, my pregnancy indolence was absolutely gone….RUDRANIL, the apple of my eye….my little darling…we were hitting the right chords together, playing around, making funny, erratic faces, those little tears flowing down his plump cheeks giving me and my emotions a whiplash. I used to literally cuddle him with a warm embrace so as to make him feel that Mumma is here & ALL IS WELL. We are now a hit combo of mother-son…everyday spend with him was budding me as a mother, as a person. My perceptions, attitude and viewpoint changed towards everything in life. He is 2 years big now.

Then one fine day, I started considering myself and my ambitions to be self-determining as I always have been earlier….though the focal point was upbringing of my little lad and I knew my independence and financial stability would in any case enhance the sort of upbringing I envision for him. Hunting for the right job was also a colossal task in itself since me being a full time mother in current scenario.

Anyways, I was persistent with my inner self to re-grow my once shredded wings and fly through horizons. I have seen & heard people cribbing, feeling awful for their work but on a contrary I could hardly remember any day when I didn’t loved my job…..In fact every day was like a new challenges / meeting new people, refinement & updating knowledge….Now when I see back, I see promising career with deep rooted relations with people and companies I have been associated with….Though like any professional I have dealt with fractious situations, criticism, pull backs and challenges & stiff pressures but I could say now I was able to handle, learnt and sometimes maneuver things gently for smooth traverse.

In the mean while I initiated my course of action by going through newspaper classified ads, naukri portal and contacting an elongated list of consultants…likewise Brian Lara….hitting sixer on every ball, I was smacking each & every opportunities as if the one I am ignoring could have been clicking for me. Irony is I got placed with an organization with which my anticipation was least because of varied communication channels and slumber with my follow ups. Truly speaking less expectation works my way a lot not only this time but otherwise as well…. Remembering the famous quote of Bhagwat Gita - कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोस्त्वऽकर्मणि॥ You have the right to action only and not to fruits thereof. Do not try to be instrumental in making your actions bear fruit (which will follow according to laws of nature). Neither let your attachment be to inaction.

Alas…!!!! Got the intent in my hand on 1st July and as I was walking out holding it in my hand gave me a feeling of optimism & perseverance to prove myself to the world that – Pooja is back with a bang again, climbed up to the professional elevator to attain a substantial spot for myself. With a feeling of enrichment and clutching the experiences gained so far I started leading my way ahead with generous footsteps.

Wraped & Twisted

After a long silence....
Harsh words & violent blows.........Hidden secrets nobody knows........Eyes are open, hands are fisted..........Deep inside I'm wraped & twisted.........So many tricks & so many lies.........Too many whens & too many whys.....Nobody's special, nobody's gifted........I'm just me, wraped & twisted.........Sleeping awake & choking on a dream.........Listening loudly to a silent scream.......Call my mind, the number's unlisted.......Lost in someone so wraped & twisted.....On my knees, alive but dead......Look at the invisible blood I've bled....I'm not gone, my mind has drifted....Don't expect much, I'm wraped & twisted.......Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow........Today's just yesterday's tomorrow......The sun died out, the ashes sifted....I'm still here, wraped & twisted......

flowers..fragrance..moonlight...LOVE EVOLVED

With the progression days went and I started learning that not only personal relations but professional relations are also valued and appreciated in this world….indeed to this enterprising and ambitious girl nothing seems impossible or unattainable ….proving my niche at my work place I started gaining poise and confidence of my colleagues, even with my boss and not to forget with ARIJIT as well.

The guy who used to look at me with fragile look was now turned flamboyant with me….we started knowing each other more, used to discuss things in and out professionally or personally. He made me acquaint about his family, brother, bhabhi, and his school days. Happenstance we studied in neighborhoods, he passed out of Raisina Bengali School and mine was St. Thomas, and thus shared all mischievous, wicked things we did during those days…. needless to say by now we were sharing good chemistry with each other.

A representative from foreign principal company was visiting our office and we had plans for taking him to Agra - A (necessary) Sacred place for all foreigners visiting India. Instead of sending him with someone, our boss decided to have an official getaway for everyone. Voila…everyone thrilled and preparations started…I din’t yelled much since I had other plans for weekend and furthermore going to see Taj Mahal again…!!!! NAH….

During lunch Arijit asked me – Tum chal rahi ho na… the other guy sitting next to us replied him – Aur kya sab ja rahe hain…I just smiled on. Two days gone in carrying out preparations and the next early morning we were about to leave for Agra. The day before we three left office (Me / Arijit / one collegue) together. Arijit asked me – You din’t confirmed you are going with us, I replied him I din’t said No instead. He kept enquiring me over and over and I kept tossing him up with – Kabhi haan kabhi naa...He understood that I won’t go and I went skeptical on why he is persuading me so much to go. He phoned me again as I left for home, again started convincing me…after 10 -15 mins of his pitching blah..blah…I had to say him – OK I AM ALSO GOING TOMORROW….Alas a sign of relief…!!!!

I took Mom’s permission and packed my bags, tomorrow, early morning Cab will come to pick everyone of us. But my mind was not at ease, many questions fluttering to be answered but one major one – Why this guy is persuading me so strongly…something weird I felt.

Anywaz Trip started; on our way we made that FIRANG guy speak hindi…made him comical …one collegue even abused him (thank god he could not understand – HINDI) It was all adventure, packed with lots of yelling. We reached Agra at afternoon; it was 42 degrees out there. I went ire reprimanding myself why the HELL I came here…I was not feeling well and even din’t wanted to visited Taj Mahal, thus I said everyone to leave and I preferred sitting in the cab. To my surprise ARIJIT returned back taking along a chilled bottle of Frooti. He knew I am not well and sat there to let me feel alright, we started talking and I got the chance to know whats there on his mind…why he has come here back when everyone else left….why he has been persuading me for this trip….He answered back for all – We are best friends so we must enjoy and take care of each other. I said him – hey don’t be diplomatic, come straight there is something else. He then said let us go out and enjoy with all, everyone has gone to see Taj Mahal….I yelled again I have seen it many times….he said - alright ONCE MORE with me.

We went inside and saw everyone taking pictures of each other and joined them along. While we spent 2 hours there till late evening and by then I also settled from discomfort caused due to hot weather. I was sitting alone and he again came up to me to ask if I needed something…I assured him that I am alright now and thanked him for his great support….He then said that he wants to talk to me on something but just thinking about it right now….Heee…Heee I have been sharp on my mind I UNDERSTOOD then and there….but was not sure so now It was my turn to persuade him to know what is reality, I asked him many times while roaming here and there, while clicking pictures, while having food, while returning back but every time he assured to tell me after a while.
We reached back Delhi late at night around 1 after so exhaustion. He called me up after reaching home to make sure I reached safely too. The very next day he left for Punjab for official work…I started missing him a lot so much that felt nostalgic about the moments we spend together….It felt I am missing someone a lot who cares, helps and always there around me…he left me with a great feeling…..may be that’s why he din’t said anything at Agra….he wanted to know and make me feel the same way….like he would have been feeling since long.

Calling me from Punjab after 4 days…he said those golden words…WILL U MARRY ME…we both took time to realize that our LOVE happened long before and now we felt time was running faster enough to let each other go…..!!!!!

We were in courtship period…another evolution of a free spirited girl.

Transition continues...Pink blossoms blooming....!!!!

As my last transformation progressed, my life seems to have taken a large turn @ 180 degree…and exposed me to the outer world…I was working from 9.00 to 6.00 and was enjoying every bit of my self-ruled world….though a fresher at work but my fun filled and outgoing attitude has always turned heads and made me more and more amiable, thanks to my upbringing…I used to catch limelight which made every day wonderfully mysterious unfolding itself throughout… I started getting pleasure from my work..my experiences..my limelight and my life as a whole I was learning new things…new gestures…at a new arena.

In that vindictive…vulnerable…mean corporate world…I was truly workaholic but at the same time fun filled, gregarious and stylish. I was used to get attentions but nothing bowled me over…on a funny side my raised eyebrow used to reply on somebody’s flippant attitude…a clear rejection with a toss…!!!! I had a stable head over my shoulders and knew these things are here to stay…I took everything in my stride.

People end up thinking me synonymous to untamable, unreachable and unbiased, sometimes even brutal in my words…but nevertheless magnetic. Deep inside many people influenced me by their accomplished, contented and balanced position…..good enough to make friends and sometimes mentors.…My colleagues and friends were into relationships and it was a common sight seeing them at coffee shop or going for movie after office hours…..We used to talk and discuss about dating, affairs, love etc…but the moment they ask about mine pat comes my reply – I enjoy my life every moment then why get locked with someone. It was not like that I didn’t want to commit a sin or love wasn’t in the air but it was largely about finding a special one whom I can confine to…...and quietly my search was ON.

I remember the days when I began my search but didn’t realized it when it was actually over… That time I was working at South Ex., with an organisation manufacturing Medical Equipments. I was the only unmarried female among all middle-aged married men and a sober Bengali guy exactly of my age group…..My profile there being a coordinator, everyone at office has to come to me (whether they liked it or not) regarding varied things. Except one person everyone was friendly within 2-3 days…this guy named ARIJIT, used to talk minimal with me…..he was reluctant to ask about the things and liked handling tasks on his own.....as and when he used to get confused he took help from someone else avoiding me totally…...Though astonished by his acts, but I didn’t interrupted since I was new there…...gradually 2 months passed, I was enjoying my work simultaneously the hot and happening vicinity of South Ex......exploring the market place....shopping or jusy simply hanging out with my friend…...One fine evening at office Arijit came to me asking to make a quotation…on to my surprise I said – Are you asking me…???? And he replied – yes, with a frail look…. completing further…he said – This quotation is very urgent…but I don’t have details of it since Mr. Verma (our MD) has given details to you only….kindly make the quotation or suggest me I shall do it on my own.

I was happy that at least he broke his silence and replied him with a smile – that I will do it. It was 6 already and I had to rush for my charted bus…still I preferred completing the quotation. By the time everything got done it was 7.30....…and I got late. I handed over the quotation to him saying its done...you can take it......He thanked me for my effort and said with a smile – You got late due to me work, I am sorry…on that I replied – but it was urgent therefore it was required to be completed today itself…..isn't.....!!! We both left office together…I was feeling hungry and asked him about it…we went to Bikaner to have snacks…..how can a Bengali guy skip a ROSOGULLA…....he delightedly ordered it along with my samosa….By this time we got familiar with each other…later we took auto for my place and he dropped at the mid way to proceed to his home….He again thanked me and waived – Goodbye with a smile…!!!!

On my way back home I realized that how one can lead different lives at home and at office…he is reserved and totally into his work at office whereas he is friendly and sensible as a person inside…!!! He taught me balancing – work and life…!!!! Adding to my surprise more, he called me up after 1hour to confirm that I reached back safely at home. I liked him being sensible and soon we were very good friends at office and otherwise too…!!!!!!