Monday, March 17, 2025

 

Utopia: A Place Built by You

Utopia is a place created by you — defined by you. A realm or state that exists only in the imagination, where everything is perfect.

Shall we attempt expanding this idea into a story?

The Girl Who Waited

She was tired.

Not from work — no, she had mastered work. She excelled at it, too good, in fact. She had climbed high, earned well, sat in glass-walled offices with views of sprawling cities that promised everything, yet delivered very little. She knew how to play the game, understood the rules, even won occasionally. But victory—victory felt hollow. A cheap medal, a hollow clink of metal against the walls of a life that should’ve felt better.

As a child, she believed that good things were for those who deserved them. She believed that if you played the game of life correctly, it would reward you with clarity, precision, and satisfaction. She had waited for the world to rise to meet her, to become what it was supposed to be.

The world, meanwhile, had carried on like a drunk man stumbling home, indifferent to her expectations.

She had been waiting for something better. A world that made sense. A world that honored the weight of her efforts.

By the time she turned forty, exhaustion had set in — not the kind that a good night's sleep could fix, but the kind that comes when a machine is overused, grinding down piece by piece. For years, she had calibrated herself to be sharp, efficient, indispensable — only to find that the world preferred the dull and the effortless. The emails never stopped. Excel sheets kept multiplying. Promotions, when they came, felt empty. She had become a master at surviving, but not at living. The wait stretched long, but she held on, patient. Surely, the world would correct itself, eventually.

Then, one afternoon, in a café that smelled of burnt coffee beans and something sweeter she couldn’t quite place, the truth arrived — not with a bang, but with the indifference of a waiter who didn’t care.

She had ordered a latte. What arrived was an Americano. Wrong, distasteful, insulting, off-course.

"This isn’t what I asked for," she said, polite but sharp

The waiter looked at her, a blank expression forming as he turned halfway to another table. "Do you want me to take it back?"

She opened her mouth to say, Yes

Yes, because things should be right

Yes, because small mistakes led to bigger ones

Yes, because after all these years of waiting for the world to get its act together, she was owed at least one damn correct cup of coffee

But then, she saw --

The city outside the window. The people inside the café. The waiter, unconcerned. The wrong coffee, cooling by every second.

Nothing was going to fix itself. Not here. Not anywhere.

The realization didn’t creep in slowly, as realizations sometimes do. No, this one was immediate. In the span of a single breath, an entire life’s belief crumbled.

She picked up the wrong coffee. Took a sip. It was warm, bitter, burnt at the edges. It tasted like resignation—like the first step into surrender. It was...fine.

And then, the right coffee arrived.

The waiter placed it in front of her with a smile. "Your latte, madam."

She stared at the two cups— One Wrong, One Right. Just like all the careful choices she had made. Each decision was supposed to lead her to something better, only to land her here. Forty years of waiting for the world to correct itself, and here was the punchline: Even when it did, it was too late.

She laughed. The sound startled even her. The waiter, uninterested, unbothered, moved on

Outside, the city was as chaotic as ever — indifferent, as it had always been.

She picked up the right coffee, took a sip. It felt like it was exclusively made for her, as per her choice, perfect in her way.

She exhaled. And for the first time in her life, she stopped waiting.

She lifted her choice of cup, let another sip linger on her tongue — Perfectly milky, a bit bitter but heavenly sweet — and then set it down with quiet finality.

The world would go on, and so would she.

Perhaps destiny doesn’t meet us at some perfect, preordained moment, but along the way —  after many wrong turns and few right turns — as we navigate our maps toward our own personal Utopia.


Thursday, December 28, 2023



Mumma...Your residence is My Heart

The pillar of my strength, my Moral compass, my best friend, my confidante, my bearer and the first relationship I have had which god blessed me with, My Maa, I lost her on 6th Nov 2023 on the birthday of my Dad. My heart sunk deep but something in me made me bounce back over the water for Air. I am sure that must be a quality I have had inherited from her only.
 
Losing her made me forcibly stand firm in front of the whole world as bare, unarmed and vulnerable but magically it also brought out a graceful toughness, never before courage in me which got unleashed in just few days as I was performing & witnessing with my Dad all the rituals for her heavenly abode ahead.
 
Why can’t mourning someone be happy?
Why cant’t we just simply marvel at a life well lived?
When will we learn that the endings are also a natural process, like beginings are?
When will we start celebrating a person for how beautifully they lived?
Celebrate all their laughter, their goodess, even allude to their flaws, because we don’t suddenly become perfect just because we die
We are still the same, Maa you are still the same for me just no more with me now.
Ofcourse I miss you immensely every day. Ofcourse those days with you are over for good.
But does a Mother really Dies, ever?
Does a father really stops caring for you just because they are no longer in visual distance?
Don’t they make us laugh and smile ever so fondly even in memory?
Where is it written that Death is an end? Who decides this?

If one still resides in our hearts and in our soul, what can be a more permanent Residence..?? 


 

Tuesday, May 24, 2022

Look out for the biggest Deadline of your life...!!

Average lifespan is 75 years, that’s 900 months and even in those 900 months, we spend so much time doing things we don’t want to do. We so much time in pleasing people we don’t actually like. We spend our time filling rows of excel sheets or writing thousands of lines on our desks. People are strange, they are constantly angered/triggered by trivial things, but on a major matter totally wasting their lives, they hardly seem to notice. Yes, people are irrational, but so are you. Make your acceptance of human nature as radical as possible.

When we turn 60, our knees feels weak and minds feel slow – all we have is hearts full of regrets. The regrets of the things that we could have done in those 900 months, trips you could have gone on in those 900 months, 900 wishes that could have been fulfilled which are still lingering on in your wish list. 900 ways of showing someone that you loved them dearly all through the days in smiles and in tears.

Ohh God, we keep chasing happiness in things that aren’t even real. We even train our subconscious mind around all these 900 months with mob mentality, cacophony, nickel-and-dime things such as A fancy appartment, or a latest iPhone, Brand new car and thus we actually get so lost in chasing material things that we forget the actual happiness..the real happiness of falling in love, happiness in making someone smile, cheering up a random stranger or the happiness of just sitting with closest buddies in the balcony and talking our hearts out entire night in our Pajamas.

We get so caught up in the life between Monday to Saturday’s or 9 to 6 pm that we forgot to love ourselves on those weary mornings, those uneasy evenings and all times in between too. We get so tired of the schedules, the deadlines, the meetings that we totally ignore the biggest deadline that we are riding on – The deadline of our Life.....Yes we have limited time with us....Every Day is once in a lifetime...!!!!

I don’t know who needs to read this/listen to this but its okay to miss a deadline or two in a while. Its okay to quit, its okay to fall down, its okay to cry those tears and clean our spirits, its okay to love ourselves fully because if we don’t then who will actually…!!!!

We relax on plane even though we don't know the pilot, We relax on ship even though we don't know the Captain, we relax on a bus even though we don't know the driver....Why don't we then relax in life knowing that the Universe/God has everything under control. We make our lives hard by always being in our heads...Life is Simple...get out of your head and get into the moment. Every minute of every day we are ageing, every encounter with others alters and shapes our ideas, we are continuous work in progress never quite the same.

Every man' life ends the same way. it is the only the details of how he/she lived and how he died that distinguishes one from the other......so Learn to forgive, Learn to love better, Learn to live, learn to laugh alone or with your dear ones who have been your pillars because when you are weak and alone at 75, these memories will be the only thing that will give you the strength to Stay Alive until you are gone..!!!!

I recall Khalil Gibran - 

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you but by the attitude you bring to your life....not so much by what happens to you but by the way your mind looks at what happens.



 

A Crown, if it hurts us, is not worth wearing..!! 

(Posting Late but better late than never)

Celebration of Women is incomplete without thinking about Beauty (of Soul), Might (of Gut), Independence (of Thoughts), Agelessness (in love), Compassion (to hold & give), Celestial (to bless), Mystical (to empower). You would be thinking that these words are so general as we use them daily but now as you read them here, we all must be holding a deeper meanings for them, for we read it in context to WOMEN. Imagining various figures in our thoughts, our mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, even our co-workers and for all the bachelors your Girlfriends & even your Padosans, on a lighter note..!!  

We as a Women live in a different world, in a different paradise of our own. Our parents, our friends and sometimes we ourselves fail to recognize who we truly are and what our heart desires. We try to seek those answers in different people. We are told to earn, settle down, raise a family,but we seldom told to live, be happy, to seek what is inside us, to chase our dreams. People say that its very difficult to understand a Women, rather I will say we are as simple & as easy like Trignometry….oh please pardon my maths skills…(I even had to google the spelling of Trignometry)

What I want we all to remember (not just on Women’s Day but always) – Not to kill our inner child and bury it behind our mature face.

Introduce yourself to a NEW YOU, all resolutions actually start with treating yourself better. Chase your dreams, laugh out loud, don’t run in the programmed instructions.

It is ironical that we are perpetually trying to fit in when the world measures success via outliners. At some point of life, we should stop fighting with life and Embrace it & love it completely. My dear, God made you Magic so don’t you be blind to it.

Feel Free, awesome and complete in yourself…INFACT YOU ALREADY ARE..!! Unless our kids try to make fun of us saying – Mumma Apko kuch nahi pata how good is Garena Free Fire Game and then you scratch your head thinking what the hell is that and see your kid with an angry grin….to laugh again.

Everything you can really change is limited to you remember big shifts in life starts within you. I believe most Women secretly, sometimes more secretly know that there is infinite potential within them. God made us tender from outside but from inside loaded us with this innate Intuition and Strength, which our daily mundane life makes us unsee in us. We get so caught up in our own ways or we are too scared to acknowledge it even…. But in the deepest core We all know it is there, so UNLEASH it.

Don’t let the days of frustration or fulfillment, comparison or achievement, burden of responsibility or society don’t ever let us forget that we have INFINITY within us.

In whatever age you are in TODAY, you will be the youngest you will ever be. Somehow while relegating all the things we want to do in that certain future, we tend to forget this simple thing – A life fully lived is TODAY fully lived 💖

Thursday, January 14, 2021


Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experience differ and multiply and we become a different Man / Woman and so our perspective changes and t
his cycle goes on and on through life

so, living a life is ONLY & ALL about our perspectives

So it might seem foolish, would it not to adjust our lives to demands of a goal we see from a different angle everyday..??

How could we ever hope to accomplish anything...The answer then actually, must not deal with GOALS at all...We do not strive to be a fireman, banker nor policemen nor doctors 

WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES...but don't misunderstand me I don't mean we can't be firemen, banker or doctor....but that...We must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal.

Beware of looking for goals, look for a WAY OF LIFE 😎

Decide how you want to live, see from a larger perspective and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life.

Friday, May 15, 2020

Love - A Magical Alchemy

If two people truly love each other they will continue to live together always naturally, without being forced to do so by any law or ceremony. The ceremonies and ritual of marriage looks so childish, infact the whole idea of marriage is amusing.
To unite your physical lives, your material interests, to become partners in order to face together the difficulties and successes, the defeats and victories of life — that is the very foundation of marriage, but you already know that it is not enough.
To be united in your sensations, to have the same aesthetic tastes and enjoyments, to be moved in common by the same things, one through the other and one for the other — that is good, that is necessary, but it is not enough.
To be one in your deeper feelings, to keep a mutual affection and tenderness that never vary in spite of all the blows of life and can withstand every weariness & irritation & disappointment, to be always and on every occasion happy, extremely happy, to be together, to find in every circumstance tranquility, peace and joy in each other — thats really really good, that is indispensable, but it is not enough.
To unite your minds, to harmonize your thoughts and make them complementary, to share your intellectual preoccupations and discoveries; in short, to make your sphere of mental activity identical through a widening and enrichment acquired by both at once — that is good, that is absolutely necessary, but it is not enough.
For instance, love between human beings, in all its forms, the love of parents for children, of brothers and sisters, of friends and lovers, is all tainted with ignorance, selfishness and all the other defects which are man’s ordinary drawbacks; yet one cannot completely cease to love — which, besides, is very difficult which would actually simply dry up the heart and non human.
One must learn how to love better: to love with self-giving, and to struggle, not against love itself, but against its distorted forms: against all forms of manipulation, possessiveness, jealousy and all the feelings which we feel as a part of love. 
Not to want to possess, to dominate; and not to want to impose one’s will, one’s whims, one’s desires; not to want to take, to receive, but actually to give; not to insist on the other’s response, but be content with one’s own love; not to seek one’s personal interest and joy or fulfillment of one’s personal desire, but to be satisfied with the giving of one’s love and affection. 
Simply to be happy to love, nothing more. If we do that, you have taken a great stride forward through this attitude,. It is like you have evolved your mindset which will gradually advance farther in the feeling itself and realize one day that love is not something personal anymore.
Certainly one has the right to love and true love carries in itself its joy, but discontentedly human beings are egoistic and immediately mix their love with their convenience and thus sufferings.
The one you love must have the right of freedom in his / her feelings and if you want the truth you must understand this right and accept it.
I have felt People perceive love differently –
One loves only when one is loved.
One loves spontaneously, but one wants to be loved in return.
One loves even if one is not loved, but one still wants one's love to be accepted.
And Finally when one loves purely and simply, without any other need or joy than that of loving – A wow feeling actually which could never go away
Love is not sexual but a deeper intimacy. Love is not vital attraction and interchange. Love is not the heart's hunger for affection.
Love is a mighty vibration coming straight from your soul, and only the very pure and very strong are capable of receiving and manifesting it.
To be in love is to be open, to be willing, to be giving and feel joyful to create memories that will never ever fade away. 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

 
BON VOYAGE...!!!!!!!

 
Ari always had a touring job, perhaps I felt this most while we were in our early marriage days for obvious reasons. It has been 6 years we are married now and I should be habitual of it by now....Can't say perfectly...!!!!!!

Indeed some distance and stay away always helps to break free the monotonous daily life and schedule, helps to rekindle the spark which might get lost due to routine. For us as well it is GREAT to see each other after spending few days alone & away. Can't resist his monkey HUG when he usually comes back in my arms after any tour...!!!!! Awww..!!!!

This time he has luckily bagged a golden opportunity and first time in his life he has gone to Germany – Frankfurt...What a big deal...then ask a person who has never been out of country even once. HE WAS ALSO EXCITED LIKE A KID.....shopped stuff, been to the saloon for a nice haircut, packed the bag and packed it again & again...hee..heeee...I was silently watching the STUPID side of his....which was very hilarious.

While he left on 18th early morning to catch his flight...I hugged him tight & kissed him wild and said that – have a happy journey and do enjoy yourself...!!!!! I know he would start missing me in a day or so but even though I wanted him to stay excited and gay as he leaves.

He was going for Training of 2 weeks for some new medical equipment which his company has added in the product list. I remember the day when he successfully demonstrated the product to fetch an handsome order even without any training. When his boss asked him to go to Germany for the training he simply replied – No need sir, I have got an expertise without it. Still his Boss made him go.


Anyhow, it has been a day since he has gone and I am missing him like anything ...AS USUAL.....Received a call last night that he safely landed and would call me again...!!!!! Don't know how would be spending 2 weeks without him.....knowing he is traveling nowadays to Germany – Frankfurt...WITHOUT MEE....!!!!!!!  :- (